Thursday, January 4, 2007

The Prognostic Dishwasher

So, back to my friend, who, for the sake of his anonymity, we'll call 'Mike Elliot', and who absolutely talked me to death today at work. He regaled me with this gem of a story about playing the lottery:

'Mike': "Back when I first joined the Army (virtually every story begins with some variation of this line) I kept running across the numbers 9-1-1."

Me: "Oh yeah?" (that's all he needs; he's like a woman in that respect....)

'Mike': "Yeah, I decided I wanted to play those numbers."

Me: "Uh-huh"

'Mike': "So, I kept going to the gas station, and I didn't play, and I kept putting it off."

Me:"Uh-huh" (At this point it's become eerily similar to any number of conversations I've had with my wife)

'Mike': "Yep, and sure enough one day they hit(You don't say). Man, I was kickin' myself after that."

Me: "Man, that sucks."

'Mike': (This is where it gets really good) "Yeah, so I was tellin' my mother about it a couple weeks later, and I remember tellin' her 'You know, I think those numbers (911 for those of you not paying much attention) are going to be really important in history.' And wouldn't you know, a few years later 9-11 happens."

Me: .......

Me: .......

Me: .......

Me: "Wow, you're a regular Nostradamus."

'Mike': .......

6 comments:

Eric said...

Weren't they already kind of important numbers in our society considered that's how you call the police, or an ambulance, or anything related. This guy is quite a jackass.

David said...

Hey bro, just wait until I relate what he's told me about his 'buddy' in the CIA!

Mike said...

I'm with Eric here. It's the most important phone number in history. Don't they put it on the side of some cop cars, ambulances and fire trucks? No wonder he thought he "kept running across" them.

brittany said...

Mike Elliott...wow he's quite a character if I do say so myself. Now I'm somewhat glad that I keep myself out of the kitchen....

David said...

Mike/Eric: That's probably the best part. It's as though he invented the numbers! I get that kind of stuff from him everyday.

Brittany: You should really make an effort to listen to some of the crazy shit he says. On second thought, if all he thinks about is you at the Christmas party, that's a little creepy........

Wendy said...

I know another Mike who has similar far fetched stories, like about how he can train the cells in his body not to require water.