God Hates Me

I'm driving home from work Sunday night, when all of a sudden my oil light comes on. Now, I just had my oil changed two weeks ago, but I had cause for concern. Here's why:

About 2 months ago I decided I was tired of changing my own oil. I didn't have time, and I didn't really like doing it, so I decided to take it down the street to Jiffy Lube. Big Mistake. They didn't put the oil filter case back on right, so the gasket sort of popped out. This wasn't noticeable until the car was started, so we didn't see it at Jiffy Lube. Well, after I got home, all of the oil leaked out of the car onto the driveway. If anyone is not aware, had I tried to start it, I would have seized the engine, which of course would ruin it beyond repair and I'd need a new engine. Anyway, Jiffy Lube fixed it and give me my money back.

So, I leave work Sunday night and get on I-64. The oil light comes on, but I'm thinking to myself maybe it's burned a quart and it's a little low; after all, I drive 60-75 miles a day at 70 mph or more. I didn't even finish getting the thought out when the car starts to shake and smoke. I immediately realize what's going on, but before I can get to the shoulder and turn the fucking car off, the engine locks up. I have to coast over to the shoulder. I popped the hood and jumped out. There's smoke everywhere, but I think maybe if I hurry I can save it. I had three quarts of oil in the trunk, so I dump them in. As fast I as dump it in, though, it's leaking back out onto the shoulder. I looked under the car, and it appeared oil was leaking from the drain plug AND the plug for the oil filter case. I figured Midas, who last changed the oil, really fucked something up, and I was pissed. I got it towed and contacted my insurance company, who said unless there was collision damage, they couldn't cover it. The next day I got a quote on a used engine (I drive a Mazda 6, by the way): $3942. I'm screwed. This, however, is where my luck changes a bit.

Yesterday, Midas comes and tows the car back to their shop so they can look at to determine whether or not they are liable. Fat chance is what I'm thinking. My claims adjuster at Progressive has gotten involved at this point, so I'm hoping he can convince them it's their fault. Well, Midas determines that it is indeed collision damage, as though I ran over something in the road. They say the oil filter case is cracked and there is damage to the oil pan as well. Chris, the insurance adjuster (who has been super helpful so far) agrees with this assessment.

Now, I have no recollection of running over anything. To cause the kind of damage they're talking about, I would have had to hit something pretty hard. My theory is, Midas ascertained that it was indeed their fault, and beat the shit out of my car so they wouldn't be liable. Far-fetched, I know, but hey, I thought of it. Anyway, Progressive is covering the cost, and while my premium will take a slight hit, at least I'm not forking out four grand for an engine.

Incidentally, this is not the first time I've had to replace an engine in a car. I previously owned a '97 Plymouth Breeze (think Dodge Stratus, with a gayer name), and I lost that engine to flood damage, but that's another story.

It's also the second time I've had to file a claim on the 6 in a month; I was in accident a week before Christmas. One day I'll figure out exactly what I did wrong.