Why I Fired My Secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well when I awoke that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.' I thought..."Well, that's marriage for you": but the kids.... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was pretty despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday; what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me?"

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch, But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake................followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch..

Naked.