It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

I'm really starting to hate old people. That's not true; I just hate old drivers. I'm getting awfully tired of having to look out for the poof of white just showing above the steering wheel of a Lincoln Aircraft Carrier.

Last night I was leaving my neighborhood and a car stalled out in the right-hand lane of N. Lynnhaven Road just before Virginia Beach Blvd. No big deal. I was two cars back, and we just manuevered over to the left lane (I suppose I could've gotten out and helped, but she had phone, and I had somewhere to be) and waited at the light. Well, behind me was an older lady in a Jetta. She was at least 65, probably a litle older. Well, it apparently doesn't occur to her that everyone in the right lane had moved around this car (a green Escort or something). It also clearly didn't occur to her that the stationary vehicle with the flashing hazard lights wasn't going to be moving, because she just continued to creep up on this girl until she plowed right into the back of her. I guess she figured, "Well, this car isn't moving, but this is the way I need to go, so fuck it. She'll move if I get close enough, right?" Which leads me to my next point:

It's only natural that when most of us get older we lose our hearing and our vision (especially peripheral) diminishes. I don't think those are the sole reasons for so many older people to be such awful drivers. No, I think a lot of people get to a certain age and just say "fuck it, I'll do what I want," like

"Well, I'm stopped here in the right lane, but I need to turn left. I don't really feel like driving up there to make a u-turn, so fuck it, I'm just going to go. Everyone else will just have to watch out."

or

"I really need to get out of this parking lot, but there are four lanes of traffic coming right now. Fuck it. They'll stop."

or

"I really need to change lanes. It's too much trouble to check my mirrors, and I can't see anything anyway, so fuck it. Everyone else should be watching."

"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."
-George Burns (1896-1996)


It just seems stupid to me that we can tell a 16-year old kid that they're fit to drive, hand them a little plastic card with their picture on it, and send them out to drive forever and ever. As long as you don't get caught breaking any traffic laws you can drive for the rest of your life. Not getting tickets doesn't make you a fit driver. I'm sick of dodging kids on cell phones, drunk drivers (that's another post, though), and old people who have almost zero awareness of there surroundings. Is it that we feel we are "disrespecting our elders" if their driving privileges are taken away? What's wrong with requiring regular vision and hearing screens and a road test after the age of 55? Have you earned the right to endanger my life because you've managed to stay alive for more than a half-century? I don't think so.

I think what so many people forget is that driving is an earned privilege, not a right-of-birth. I can't tell you the trouble I've been in throughout the 13 years I've been driving just because I drive a little fast, especially on deserted roads, when people who repeatedly put other drivers in danger are allowed to just keep doing it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not a bad driver just because I've had a few tickets. I don't break any more traffic laws than the rest of you, I just get caught more. I am however, a more alert driver than most, and I am constantly aware of my surroundings when I drive (unless I'm really tired.....). You all have just been luckier. Am I being disrespectful to the generations before me? No. Sure, when you're 80 years old, maybe you've earned the right to bitch and complain and have the rest of us turn a blind eye, but I think I've earned the right to make an attempt to live to be your age without you running me off the road and into a fucking lamppost.