So, I wonder sometimes if I did something wrong, or am I just destined to be this way? Is it something I can ever fix, or will I keep repeating the same cycle?
I feel like the walls are closing in; that even at 28, my life is running out on me. Thinking back, I can't say I ever remember a time when I was truly happy. I've had periods of contentment in my life. I've even had times where I felt like I found what I was looking for. Those times never lasted long. I wonder more and more often if I'll ever have what I want; if I'll ever be happy. Sometimes I think that whatever I get, it will never be good enough; that I always want more.
I know, I have kids to take care of, and I should put them before me, and I do; but what about me? I feel like I'm either doing something someone else wants me to do, or I'm doing nothing at all. Does it make me a terrible person to want to think about myself once in awhile? Maybe that's it. Maybe I shouldn't post this.....
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2 comments:
I don't know you personally, so I'll keep this general...
You have to look out for yourself every once in a while. In bad situations (or even just melancoly ones) I've found that when I'm able to get myself happy everything else follows suit and things start falling into place.
Also, always wanting more isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.
I reread that and it sounds a little cliche, but in my experience it's true.
Don't feel bad for wanting to be happy; I understand.
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