The last three days the rain was unstoppable

Sometimes, like when I wonder where I'm going to get the money to pay for this house I live in, I wonder why I'm still kidding myself. It's clearly not meant to be, right? Every time I see my schedule and I'm working 2 days, I decide it's time to give up; to take the safe route.

I look at myself sometimes and wonder, at 29, what have I really done? Am I ever going to do anything? Then there are times I feel that I'm still young; I have plenty of time to do this and then organize the chaos that is my life.

Everytime I make school a priority, everything else falls apart, and I go right back to the job I hate the most. I should just do it again and be happy.

Not this time. I'm not backing down. I'm not quitting. I've sacrificed too much: time, money, relationships. It's not just about me, either. Others have sacrificed just as much, and it's not going to end like this. I'm not who I can be yet. I'm not where I want to be yet. I'm not going back.

Fuck you. I can do it.